cheddar-baby:

i bring a skip to my lou energy to the funeral that the pallbearers don’t really like

(via slimetony)

vaspider:

lizardsister:

lizardsister:

lizardsister:

if they rebooted austin powers it would either be the most tone deaf unfunny incredibly offensive movie in years OR they’d do it right and really keep with the times in being very self aware and it would be one of the best films in decades. austin powers would be a massive support of trans rights because trans women means more women for him to shag

oh your pronouns are she/they? well baby lemme she/them titties shagadelic

austin powers discovers bisexuality and it blows his fucking mind

… my brother is a trans dude and an Austin Powers impersonater.

I feel like this is the start of Jake making 9 million TikToks.

(via vrabia)

cryptotheism:

cryptotheism:

Your reaction to chatGPT instantly lets me know how easy it would be to trick you into thinking that you are haunted

“omg it’s literally alive!” Two beers, 45 minutes, deck of tarot cards, and I’m charging you 350$ for an exorcism.

(via vrabia)

6qubed:

cheddar-baby:

just kicked this dude so hard his worms came out

image

(via twobearshifiving)

shilol:

feeling a deep sense of kinship with danny here

(via twobearshifiving)

immovablethot:

thanks for making me this hot tea bro. Why did the steam make the shape of a skull and crossbones when you stirred it lol

(via thistlefly)

jumpingjacktrash:

people react more predictably to positive reinforcement than negative.

if you punish and shame people for doing a Bad Thing, a lot of them will do the thing even more out of spite, or develop weird complexes about it, or go too far the other way, and the one thing you can be pretty much certain they’ll do is lie.

if you give people kind words and attention for doing a Good Thing, mostly they will do it more. also they will be happy, and like you. and you won’t be an asshole.

in conclusion give cookies not kickings. thank you.

(via thischick25)

roundo:

image

These posts right in a row are really doing something for me

(via beef-large)

timemachineyeah:

timemachineyeah:

Would you rather have to

Give a 10 minute speech tomorrow in front of 1000 impressive strangers

Attend a 3.5 hour baby shower tomorrow with 15 people you only sort of know

See Results
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image

the notes are so fucking funny

(via swordtsukiyama)

(via gaminegay)